I keep telling everyone that I am okay. Honestly, I'm not. Why I'm writing this on my blog is beyond me. Except, I know it will be preserved for another time. I sincerely wish I had kept a journal of our journey with Alzheimers.
Tomorrow is Christmas eve and for the life of me, I am remembering Christmas's past. For the past month all I could think about is Don and Alzheimer's. The rushing, talking, care taking....the death. Now, all of a sudden, I am remembering before the dreaded disease invaded our lives. Simply stated, it's awful. Today, I cried all day. Didn't matter what, I just cried. I hate to do that and wish it were different. Christmas? It's not a fun time. I have an invitation to a neighbor's for Christmas eve dinner. How much fun would I be if I sat there and cried? Christmas day another friend wants me to join their family. What a downer that would be for them with my sadness. I think I need to go outside and pray to God to give me some peace. Maybe I will pray inside as it is freezing outside, and snowing.